what a world

So, i'm not sure if i mentioned this, but i had an interview at Ayr college, to do an NC Performing Arts course, i was really excited about this course as it's what i really want to do, and make it my future. So on the day of the interview i got all nicely dressed, make up to perfection and hair. My mum gave me a good luck thing, it was a wee tiny golf man, that came from my Uncle Robert's birthday cake. So that was nice. The interview never went well, as the women never seemed to like me from the moment i asked if this was where the interviews were being held, she sort of looked me up and down, and that would be fine because she has a right to, but the way she did it wasnt an interest of my style or whatever, it was more, a look that could make someone feel like a tramp. She asked me lots of questions, and i asnwered them in a way that i really dont think could have went any better, i knew she hated me, so i felt uneasy. All i was asked to do, was read, a short verse, as the course requires someone good at english, which according to my exam results i am extremely good at english, so i wasnt worried one bit. I got a letter today to say i had been refused, now this being the first interview, i never got to perform, that would have happened the second time, i would perform either a song a dance or an act, i would have danced and done a reading. So if they dont know what i have to offer, how the fuck can i be rejected? Really, all she knows is what i look like and what animals i have, which really has fuck all to do with the course. I was so angry, fair enough if it was some big drama school that people like Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant had atteneded, then yes that would be fine. But in actuall fact it is a shitty wee college in the middle of a shitty wee place, where no one good has came from so far. It's full of. let's see i think the best word to use here is retards. Not them all obviously, but about 50% is. So that's my confidence knocked to fuck, if im not good enough for their, maybe i should just give up and work in a chip shop untill im 70. Things arent looking good, i dont have anything to look forward to now, there is no jobs, i dont want to to anything else at college, so life is shit. I'm loaded with the cold and feel like shit, which dosent help. I'm so gutted. I've just sat on the internet all day, doing nothing. I'm away to keep on doing nothing on the internet x