hmmm

My birthday has been and gone, it was okay, quite a normal day really, except more people, and cards. My boyfriend got me a hamster it cheered me up, i love him hes called bear. a wee white dwarf one. I'm at my boyfriends again, been here since saturday. Richie stayed at mine on friday and on the saturday morning, my mum, Richie, Barry, Lisa, Kai and me set of early, to go to the buddhist monastry in Dumfries, or near there. It was a lovely place, we got to walk about and look at all the different things, we got lunch at half 12, was only a fiver, for all you can eat. It was a good day, we never got back untill about 10 at night. Going back to work next monday, well im supposed to be but to be honest, i really dont want to, the only reason im there of course is for the money, and recently i've been thinking theres a lot more to life than money. Life is actually really scary. At the start of the year i would have sat and told you all the things i plan to do through the year, start driving, go to college, go on holiday, save money i get from my job, but now im just trying to get each day through, keeping my mind of things as much as possible. I'm supposed to be going to see Russell Brand on friday, i was actually supposed to go on february the 15th, but he cancelled, i was extremely gutted at that to be honest, had myself all hyped up, it was actually the best weekend id had in ages if he hadnt cancelled. My uncles birthday was on the thursday, he had a party, all the family there, i was working that day, and was dead excited about it, it was a great night, a good laugh. i then had the friday off, to spend time with richie, work a shift on saturday, on a weeks holiday, that was especially booked for russell brand. But i really dont want to go, i bought the ticket on ebay for £50 quid, and now the fact that i probably dont have a job, makes me feel the need to go, because it is a lot of money at loss. It's to late to sell it anyway. I've rambled on about anything really. I really dont know if it makes sense. Who cares. My heads so messed up just now. No one really knows how i feel, i prefer keeping it to myself. When i was at the buddihst monastry, i actually thought maybe i should take the robes up, when we were leaving i actually had to stop myself from running back and doing so. It's peaceful, everyones happy and knows where they are. I think its a great way to live. I thought about giving up smoking today, but as sad as it is, there the only real thing to be excited about in a day. I've ate so much as well, chocolate, chocolate, pies, and more chocolate. Good friday this friday, russell brand, i dont even think he could cheer me up. Hopefully it all goes fine somehow.
Anyway, I'm away to have a bath and then probably sit up untill about 5am watching richie on the xbox. I'll post soon. (haha, i wonder who im actually talking to - no-one) im probably just reminding myself of this. Bye.