Gutted

So its easter sunday today, and Uncle Roberts ashes were put into the river across from his house. Barry gave me a lift up to my house as i was at Richies. We had a few fags when we got their, and then My Mum, Jimmy, Anne, Hazel-Ann, Ali, Barry, Aynslie ,Lynsey, Jason and me set off down the river walk, we found the ideal location just along from a wee bench, Barry lit insence sticks and stuck them in the grass. He opened the box and put them in water as everyone stared, scared for it to happen, everyone put things in, we all had a rose each, everyone put in different things, that ment something to them. I never liked it really, so im not going into to much detail. It was nice though, for Robert, even though i never liked the whole thing. Anne said a wee thing, it was actually the verse that was written in the funeral parlour, when we went to see him, and it was lovely, it gave you hope. We all went back to our house afterwards, and just had a laugh, it was nice, everyone being together. I'm back at Richies now. dont know if this is even possible, but for some reason, i still dont beleive it? Every morning when i get up its even more shocking? I absolutely hate it, i can keep it off my mind for short periods of time, but its not long at all. I get really angry at times and take it our on Richie, which is a shame, cause hes actually the nicest person you could ever meet. But i think it is kind of expected. He's away making me something to eat. I think every time ive posted, he's been doing that! My wee hamster is fine, hes a wee cheeky baby. Whenever i put his food in his bowl in the morning he kicks it all out. I love it, he cheers me right up. My mum goes back to work tomorrow, it's easter monday so she's only going to one job, the other is on holiday, i hope its okay for her, everyone says that once things get back to normal, it will be ok. But to be honest i really really don't think so. Annes going back after the easter holidays but starting on a wednesday, so she dosent need to do a full week, incase its too hard, and it will be. I don't think im going back to mine, i've wanted rid of it for ages, but never really thought about it, but i've had a good think about everything recently, and for me thats the best option. I would work another job, but that one just isnt suitable for me. I've probably told you(?) that allready. I've downloaded so many films in the past few weeks, i'm surprised i still have room left for anything on this computer, i've got a few going just now. Bedtime stories is finished, i'll watch that later, it's got Russell Brand in it, so hopefully he'll work his magic and cheer me up again. I wish i could live with him, not just because the fact hes the most handsome man in the world, but because he could put a smile on my face even by just smiling haha, if you get me? Don't tell Richie about the handsome part though. haha. I'm only kidding anyway, Richie is nicer, obviously. I like talking crap, i just talk about anything to keep my mind off it, and ive been putting my ipod on and singing over the top of the music, haha so loud that a cant even think, if you get me.
Well really this must have been the stupidest post ever, just a constant rant about anything, and im still going on. Nah im away now to find something else to do. I'll write again soon. Bye